Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
