just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
