it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
