Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I didn't notice because vodka
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
