after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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