did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
