Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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