My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
