I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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