Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
So apparently I’m into choking now
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
