I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
