you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
