If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
