So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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