Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
