Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
