weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
