His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
did i just pee glitter
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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