The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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