Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
