Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
