You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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