The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
