Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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