office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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