He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
