i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
