I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
