To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize