Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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