I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
