Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
