i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
