READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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