He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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