they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
