Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
