I'm going to jail i love you
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
As shirtless as possible
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
