Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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