im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
