so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
