I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
