I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
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