And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
