Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
