Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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