OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
