now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize