puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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