I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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