I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
