I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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