I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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