my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
