Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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