i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
