You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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