i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
