i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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