Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
...so i touched it.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
