I want to walk on stilts...naked
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
