Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
